Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed or scatterbrained I simply start writing. I find a particular format of “on my mind…” to be most effective — I just list each thing that’s on my mind in a bulleted list, adding a todo checkbox in front of an item if it strikes me as something I specifically would like to get done. Although I’ve noticed that this practice helps me, I also harbor some self-judgment around it. I shouldn’t need to waste time listing a bunch of crap; just pick the most important thing and get ‘er done. Today’s insight from The Four Agreements helped shift my thinking to understand both why I find this practice so helpful and how it connects with a deeper wisdom.
In his Second Agreement, Don’t Take It Personally, Don Miguel Ruiz starts by illustrating the value of not taking what others say to heart, but adds that we also should not take personally the many thoughts in our own mind. These voices — Allies in the Toltec tradition — each represent an agreement that we’ve made with ourselves at some point in life, and may vie for attention and be conflicting in the message they deliver. The cacophony they create he calls mitote. By taking inventory of them, we can separate each idea from the others, and often from the self-judgment that accompanies it. We can then choose which voice to attend to, shift our perspective, and move to action.
Reading this I was struck by the parallels with the learnings I am taking from my coaching development course. In Co-Active, we talk about recognizing our inner allies and saboteurs. We talk about clearing — getting everything out of your mind and into the shared context with the coach — as a valuable practice to yield clarity. And we leverage the “Balance” principle to help clients “be at choice,” to recognize that you can choose the lens through which to see your circumstances and what actions to take.
I’ve always loved the phrase “Don’t Believe Everything You Think.” I first saw it on a bumper sticker and appreciated its cleverness. But witnessing the similarity in the teachings of these seemingly disparate traditions — modern leadership coaching and traditional tribal wisdom — combined with my empirical observations of how much clearing / taking inventory / listing my thoughts brings me clarity, I have a newfound confidence in embracing this practice as one to further my growth as a leader, coach, and human being.